INFJ!

When I was younger, and I’m not sure exactly when, I did a Myers-Briggs test to see what my type was. I came in as an ISTJ. It made sense to me at the time because I was analytical and not in touch with my feelings or intuition. However, as I got older and discovered the Enneagram and other personality typing I would look at my ISTJ and think that it represented me at work but not really in my personal life. I went to a career coach and told her I didn’t feel ISTJ fit me, and asked if I could grow and change over the years. She said the core type is the same all your life. Since it didn’t really fit me, I just discounted Myers-Briggs as a career determination rather than having accuracy in personality as a whole. As I was deep diving into Human Design I came across a YouTube video where the guy was adamant that most people are mistyped in Myers-Briggs and that there are strong correlations between Human Design and your Myers-Briggs type. He highly recommended retaking the test. So, I did. The results were INFJ.

Of course, we answer the questions based on where we are at in our lives so the best determinate is to really dig into the typing and see if it fits. I had never heard of the function stacks of the profiles until I started deep diving. However, as I have been researching the depth of INFJ I feel it resonates with me perfectly. Like Human Design, seeing myself in the results so clearly is like cleaning mud-stained windows and seeing the world clearly again. Oddly, learning I am INFJ explained why I struggle to understand myself and why it has been my mission in the last 20 years to figure myself out.

Does it seem odd that I typed as an ISTJ first? Not if you dig into INFJ. Growing up, my home life was chaotic. I was a very sensitive child and being a Human Design Manifestor I was very independent and not in need of other people like my mother. My mother is an extrovert, possibly an ENFP. However, she was very emotionally volatile and explosive. My brother is also an extrovert, possibly ESTP, and very insensitive and blunt in his words. My father is an introvert, but lacking in empathy and is likely an ISTP. So, I was surrounded by people who were in my space, criticizing me and not being careful with my sensitive nature. I had to shut off my feeling and intuitive sides in order to cope with life. Combine that with being shut out by most of my peers in school due to my closed and repelling Manifestor aura, and I learned not to trust people and fell deeply into my imagination. I used my Introverted Thinking and Extraverted Sensing to get through my early life. Facts and logic became trusted because people couldn’t tell me I’m wrong. Feelings are subjective and personal and other people don’t trust them so I didn’t either.

I have had the privilege of going through a class with Lauren Sapala to embrace my INFJ qualities. One of the most important discoveries is the strong feminine qualities of an NF person. So, all my worries about having to embrace a more masculine energy from being a Manifestor are gone. I can camp right in the 50/50 position of being balanced in my masculine/feminine qualities. I can be logical, practical and emotional, intuitive. I love that I don’t have to give up any of my strengths. INFJ is by definition very deep and analytical and tends to be the most extroverted introvert in the Myers-Briggs world. INFJs love understanding people and love anything taboo, like mysticism and the human psyche. They tend to be very comfortable with death and the dark side of things. They also tend to be extremely accepting of people because they delight in understanding all that makes people unique.

I have found my people!!